Under Fire
by jibber59
Summary: The Job was fine, but an unforeseeable, unrelated action could have tragic consequences. My deepest thanks to all of those who created the Leverage Universe, and put Eliot Spencer in it!
1. Chapter 1

Sophie leaned back against the rear doors of Lucille and removed the glasses that had been part of her latest characterization. She was looking forward to getting out of the stuffy business attire and into a more relaxed and flattering look. Although, she admitted to herself, she could make any look work. She looked up to see Nate walking towards her, hands in his pockets and just the faintest hint of a grin on his face.

"Did you enjoy your moment of gloat?"

"I don't know what you mean." Nate tried to look innocent, and failed miserably.

"Oh Please, there is nothing you enjoy more than watching the mark realize he has been had. You revel in it."

"One should always take satisfaction in a job well done. Where is everyone?"

"Hardison and Parker are in the van putting everything away. Eliot is either finishing his final sweep of the area, or getting the phone number of the cute receptionist. Maybe both."

Nate shook his head and walked over to the sidewalk, looking up and the down the street for Eliot. He could see the receptionist at the desk in the lobby of the building they had just left, so he knew the phone number scenario wasn't right. That wasn't to say he hadn't already added her number to his collection. For someone who could be so terribly menacing, Eliot had a charm with the ladies that was worth serious scientific study. So, Eliot was likely somewhere within a two block radius, making sure that there was no one taking undue interest in the activities of the team before they headed home. He brought whole new level of meaning to the word cautious. Just as Nate had decided to summon the Hitter home via the earbuds, Eliot's voice was in his head. From the sound of his breathing Nate could tell he was running hard. "Boarded up building on fire 2 blocks south at the waterfront. There are people in there though – I can hear them. I'm going in."

"Eliot hold off – Hardison is putting in the 911 call. Let the pros handle this."

"Nate – there are people in there. I'm going in."

Nate jumped out of the van before Hardison had brought it to a full stop. They could see white smoke billowing from broken second story windows. Off to the side a small group of people stood, apparently in shock. Sophie hurried over to find out what they knew.

"Don't know where the fire started. The door was blocked and we couldn't get out. Then this hole just appears in the wall and this guy came running in yelling at everyone to get out. He tore the wall down with his bare hands – who the hell does that?

"Where is he now?"

"Still in there I guess. He heard there might still be couple of the kids sleeping in the loft."

Sophie looked up where the smoke had turned to an ominous grey. She shouted to Nate when she saw the shapes in the window. At the same moment Eliot's voice was in her ear. "Get someone over here to catch the kids". He was lowering someone from the window – someone small. The spectators ran over underneath, and caught her as she dropped the final few feet. Sirens could now be heard in the distance, and Eliot disappeared into the building again. A few seconds later the dropping process was repeated.

"Get everybody away from here – there are barrels of something up here and they are starting to make noise.

"Eliot the professionals are here. Get out – get out now."

"I will – just gotta check one more spot. There were three sleeping bags up here."

Nate turned to the kids who had been rescued. The older one, all of 7, shook his head. "Just the two of us".

"Eliot there's nobody else. Get out now."

"I heard. I'm coming down the –"

The end of the sentence was lost in the explosion and fireball that burst from the upper story windows. Nate and several of the spectators were blown off their feet as the fire trucks pulled in. Hardison pulled him to his feet as the team looked up to the building, not ready to acknowledge what they had just seen.

40 minutes later the worst of the fire seemed under control. They were still pumping water, but the rush of activity had slowed. Most of the "residents" had been taken to shelters or hospital, with a few still standing on the side lines, looking on mutely. Hardison and Sophie were trying to talk to them, to find out what had happened, but everyone was still in shock.

Everyone kept trying to raise Eliot on the earbud, but after 30 minutes Hardison turned off the main monitor. It was too hard to see Eliot's transmission light on, with no activity.

Parker had disappeared a few minutes after the explosion. She was spotted a few minutes later on a nearby roof, watching the activity below, searching for what she knew she wouldn't find.

Nate was trying to listen in on the conversations he could hear with the fire captain. He was pretty sure the word arson came up – more than once. But he was having trouble concentrating. The earbud was buzzing, as if all the radios and walkie-talkies were creating static. He started to reach up to remove it, when he realized the static had a natural underlying rhythm. "Hardison – I need you at the van."

A minute later the back door of Lucille opened and Nate pulled him in. "Easy man, I'm coming". "Mute the static" "What" "Turn the monitor back on and mute the static on Eliot's receiver. There is something else there." A few seconds later there was silence is the van, nothing coming in on the receiver. "I was sure I heard something".

"Hang on, let me boost this…" The silence ensued again, but was quickly broken by a weak wheezing gasp for breath, and then another.

"Where is he – find him."

Nate ran out to alert the rescue crew. "You have got to be kidding me. No way anybody could be calling from in there. The fireball was huge, and the smoke since then is too thick to see through. The building is unstable – I can't send anyone in."

"Got the location Nate. "

"They won't take it. Hang on Eliot; we're coming in for you."

What started as a no became a rasping cough.

"Look, you are just a few feet away from a back exit – we can do this."

"Where is the door" The rawness of Eliot's voice made Nate's own throat ache.

"Sliding ramp on the wall behind you – maybe 12 feet away."

They heard nothing but grunts and swearing for the next 30 seconds as they ran to the back of the building, circling behind the firefighters still wetting down the structure. The building groaned and swayed with the added weight of the water, and sections were beginning to buckle. As they rounded the last corner ½ the roof caved in before their eyes. When the dust settled, all they could see were piles of debris. Then one of the piles moved.

_Eliot smelled the smoke before he could see any haze in the sky.__He scanned the skyline, and tracked out the direction of the winds.__Only took a couple of seconds to determine the fire was near the waterfront – probably one of those abandoned warehouses. Tin structures with not much to burn in there but lots of troubled or homeless folks taking refuge.__As he got closer he could hear the buzz of growing panic.__Why was no one leaving the building?__Smoke was clearly filling the place, and flickering light showed flames near the back.__Then he saw it – crates, debris and a general collection of crap barricading the front door.__The doors vibrated as people pushed against them to escape – but there was too much blockage.__Eliot's eyes darted back and forth, looking for another way in.__There – to the right.__It wasn't much of a hole, but there was a vent there.__It might just give him the leverage he needed. Nate was in his ear, telling him to wait, but that wasn't his style. He grabbed a crate as he ran passed to climb on for access.__Reaching up with both hands he grabbed the vent cover off and started to pull at the riveted seam.__Slowly, too slowly, he could feel it moving.__He stopped for a moment, closed his eyes and centred himself.__Some had told him once that he looked like the Hulk when he got that look on his face.__He kept meaning to check that out with Hardison to see if it was a good thing – Eliot didn't do comics.__What he did do was strength.__The rivets began to pop like buttons on a shirt, and in less than a minute there was an opening though which the trapped squatters ran.__He could still hear noises from inside.__There was a cracking and popping sound, and when he saw the metal barrels he knew something was heating up in there that would not remain contained for long.__The writing on the side saying Caution – Toxic, did not encourage him.__As he turned to follow the fleeing crowd out, he heard someone ask about the kids upstairs, and raced toward the ladder.__At the top, huddled together were two scared kids, hiding underneath three sleeping bags.__The math concerned him.__They seem to look more terrified of him than the fire, until he remembered the Hulk face.__Trying to put a smile on, he scooped up one in each arm and ran to the loading window in the front.__He had been so focused on the situation that it took him a minute to realize he was still hearing Nate and Sophie in is ear yelling at him to clear out.__ "__Get someone over here to catch the kids". He lowered the girl as far as he could, then let her go to be caught by the crowd below.__The boy was next. He kept shouting to Nate, but notice his voice was getting hoarser with each sentence. _

_"__Get everybody away from here – there are barrels of something up here and they are starting to make noise.__I gotta check one more spot.__There were three sleeping bags up here."__It was getting harder to breathe, and to focus.__By the time he heard Nate tell him there were no other kids, he was nearly to the back of the building.__He started to let them know that was his escape plan when he heard the rushing of air pushing past him, with the heat and force of the explosion. He could feel himself falling, but never felt the landing. _

_He was hearing voices in his head.__That couldn't be a good sign.__Trying to push himself up he realized instantly he had a dislocated shoulder and gasped out in pain.__That was followed by a bellow as his raw throat seized up.__The bellow just made it hurt more, and he willed himself to stop reacting.__Breathing was shallow gasps – anything beyond that was impossible.__His lungs wouldn't accept the effort.__He recognized the voices as coming from the team, but couldn't respond to them, and even if he could get up escape, he had no idea of where to go. He felt himself passing out again._

_"__Eliot – we're coming for you"._

_"__No" The effort to scream came out as a squeak, but still ripped is throat apart.__They couldn't come in to this.__He forced himself to talk. "Where is the door?"__12 feet – it might as well be a mile.__He dragged himself, writhing with every movement.__He tried to guess how many bones were broken, muscles torn, but he couldn't focus.__Couldn't breathe anymore.__Through blurring eyes he saw the ramp and dragged himself to his knees for the last few feet.__He sensed rather than felt the force of air behind him again, this time created by the collapse of the building.__It pushed him off the ramp and into the debris below.__The voices in his head kept calling his name, yelling at him to breathe.__He tried – and failed. _


	2. Chapter 2

"He is on a ventilator – breathing on his own isn't possible right now. His lungs are just too damaged."

Sophie cut to the chase: What did they say the prognosis is?

Nate hesitated, not yet willing to tell them the whole story, but still realizing they deserved the truth. "It's not good. There was so much smoke, and most of it chemical. They don't know if the lungs can recover."

"And…"

"Some burns, damage to the throat from the smoke and heat. Can't imagine it, but that voice may be even rougher. Having the building collapse on him didn't help either."

They knew he was holding back, so saying nothing, they just continued to stare Nate down. He closed his eyes for a moment.

"Oxygen deprivation. They won't know for certain about brain damage unless he wakes up."

"UNTIL he wakes up" Parker corrected angrily.

"Unless, Parker. And I won't lie to any of you – that is a big unless."

There were a few moments of silence in the room as each processed what they were hearing. The moment ended with the sound of Hardison's coffee cup slamming into a wall at high speed, and shattering into tiny shards. "I'll clean that up in a minute" he said and started to leave the room.

"Hardison get back here. What have we got on this fire?"

"What have we got? Nothing. Why would we?"

"Because the residents said the doors were blocked, Eliot said there were barrels of chemicals in what was an abandoned building, and the fire captain on the scene mentioned arson. SO what have we got?"

The team continued to stare at him, not quite ready to get over their shock.

Get them focused on something - anything - that would keep them going forward. "Look – we can't do anything to help Eliot recover, but we can make sure whoever is responsible for this pays. So – whether he knows it or not Eliot is our client. And WHEN" – he looked at Parker, and she smiled grimly and nodded – "he wakes up he will want answers. Don't you think we should have them ready?"

Hardison was scanning through volumes of forms and blueprints on screens in front of him. The paper trail on ownership of the warehouse was unbelievable. The building had been everything from a slaughterhouse to a warehouse, and a dozen things in between over the years, including at the end, a chemical storage depot. Those barrels had been sitting there since, probably slowly leaking. He had automated searches trying to match names to find out if the place really was being sold, or was it all a shell transfer. Every time he looked up at the screen, his eye went to the inserted transmission in the upper corner. He had hacked into the hospital computers, and had a camera on Eliot. He was also getting all the information from the medical monitors. You didn't have to have a medical degree to see things weren't looking good. But he was still hanging on, which was a lot more than the experts had expected. Of course, they didn't know him.

"I'm telling you – nobody owns the building. It was abandoned a couple years back when the whole economy tanking thing was going on. The owner just walked away from it and a couple of other places and left them vacant. Even the banks don't want 'em, cause there is no interest in the area at the moment. Only folks that cared about that building were the ones sleeping in it."

"And Eliot" Parker said. "Don't forget Eliot cared". She was sitting beside his spot at the table, and kept turning to look at the photo she had placed on his chair. It didn't feel right having meetings without him, and the image beamed in from the hospital was not the look she was going for.

"We know Parker. Nobody is forgetting about Eliot." Sophie was beginning to worry about how Parker was dealing with this. She remembered when her own death scene had played out, and how much trouble Parker seemed to have accepting that Sophie wasn't a ghost. Eliot's absence in reality, but constant presence on the screen seemed to create the same confusion.

"Where did the owner go?" Nate tried to bring them back to business.

"Oakland Cemetery. He died about 6 months after. Heart attack."

"OK – so we have no leads on who set this place up"

"Cops have nothing from the former residents – officially or unofficially. I hacked into the Department Arson team and they have it listed as suspicious, but no leads. Not really putting a lot of work into. You know, homeless folk, no 'Powers that Be' interested."

"Guessing there isn't much surveillance info in the area."

"Nah – most of the cameras that are there are busted."

"OK – time to get physical. We will have to go to the area and do our own investi-" Nate stopped talking. Something had changed, and it took him a moment to register. The tone from Eliot's heart monitor – flat line.

All eyes in the room went to the monitor – which Hardison immediately move to full size on the screen. Medical personal were flooding in, checking his pupils, injecting adrenalin and prepping the defibrillator. Sophie tried to reach out Parker to support her, but the younger woman pulled away and leaned into Hardison.

They watched mumbling words of encouragement, feeling helpless. They jumped with each shock he was given, and held their breath waiting for the next sounds. The rhythm returned, there was a slight movement of Eliot's head and the hospital staff switched to a less frantic looking routine, resetting Eliot's monitors and getting him settled again. No one spoke in the office for several minutes, then Nate picked up as if nothing had happened.

"We will do our own investigation."

"That's it" Sophie glared at him. "Just move forward. Forgive us if we need a couple of minutes to absorb what just almost happened. We aren't ready for Eliot to die, so we humans will take some time to process what we just watched."

"Do what you have to do. We'll regroup in 30 minutes with the plan." Nate walked out of the office and down the hall to the washroom. Locking the door he collapsed on the floor in front of the toilet and spent the next two minutes puking his guts out, and five after that crying quietly. He didn't know how he would deal with the reality when Eliot died. He knew, they all did, that they had been incredible lucky to survive the last three years, especially Eliot, given the chances he took. The others had no idea how close they'd come to losing him in a warehouse gun battle recently, nor did Eliot ever want them to find out. But Nate knew. He knew most of the chances Eliot took. He knew about the pain Eliot suffered quietly, from broken ribs, concussions, dislocations and lord knew what else. He also had an idea of the emotional torture Eliot dealt with every day. No details, there would never be details. But occasionally after a very long day and one beer too many, Eliot hint at the ghosts and demons in his world. Then he would shut down again, as if no discussion had ever taken place. Nate knew most of this just by watching. He was good at watching and reading people. And watching Eliot now, he wanted more than anything to let him feel the support and love of the team. And there was no way to do that. All he could do was wait, and in the meantime, get justice.

He finished cleaning himself out, opening the door to go back to the office. When he stepped out, they were waiting at the end of the hall. Standing, staring, smirking just a little. "Smooth move tough guy. Let's get back to work."

_Eliot couldn't figure out why everything was so bright.__He tried to close his eyes against the lights, but discovered they were already closed. There was a hum of activity around him, and it took him only a couple of seconds to register the sounds of a respirator, and a heart monitor.__He listened to the rhythms for bit, and concluded somebody was in trouble.__That was a lot of life support being generated.__A couple of seconds later his eyes popped open in the realization that someone was him.__He was plugged into monitors and IVs and God knows what else, and he was completely helpless.__He tried to speak, and couldn't. He tried to move, and couldn't.__But something he did had brought attention down on him, as he watched white coats come near._

_"__Well Mr. Taylor – good to see you awake. I bet you're pretty confused.__Don't try to talk. You have a badly burned throat, and you have a tube to help your breathing." Taylor – who the hell is Taylor?__ "__Is it OK if we call you Eliot? Your friends said you would probably prefer to be less formal." Friends - what friends? He didn't remember having friends. Come to think of it, he was having trouble remembering much of anything. "We're going to check your vitals for a few minutes.__One of the nurses is calling your friends now to let them know you are awake.__I'm willing to bet they will be here before we finish with your testing. I'm going to let them fill you in on what happened to you. Don't worry about anything – you've got lots of people watching out for you." _

_"__OK" he thought "so Eliot Taylor has friends coming. Maybe the visuals will help me figure this out."_

The team hustled down the hospital corridor, trying not to break into a run.

"So Doc – how is he doing?"

"Hold up – no one is going in right now. We're just finishing some tests. Come over here and sit down for a minute."

Nate felt the knot that had all but disappeared when Eliot woke up, tightening again. He had seen that look in a Doctor's eyes before. That was the look he saw when he was told there was nothing more that could be done for Sam. That was a look he never wanted to see again, yet here it was.

"I wish I could sugar coat this for you, but there isn't an easy way to say this. Eliot is 'awake', and his pupils are slightly responsive, which is good. But he has not reacted in any way to verbal of physical stimulation. There are some muscular reflexes of course, but no sign of conscious movement or activity – or thought. I'm sorry. I wish I had better news."

Sophie broke the silence. "He'll react to us. Can we see him? He'll know us."

"I hope you're right. Yes, by all means you can see him – two at a time though. Say his name, and yours, often. It might help break through. But don't crowd him, don't force him. He is still very weak, and the breathing is still fully supported by the respirator."

Nate and Sophie slowly walked up to the bed. "Hey there guy…" Nate's voice started to crack, so he started again. "Hey Eliot, enough of this lying around. Hardison is the only guy on the team who sleeps in."

"Eliot – it's Sophie. We're here with you and everything is going to be fine. You need to try to wake up Eliot. We need you to come back to us"

_"__What does she means I need to wake up? I'm awake.__OK – I can't talk but I am awake. I'm looking right at them. Or I would be if I could just move my eyes around a bit more.__Wait – I can't change what I'm looking at?__I can't talk?"__He could feel a growing panic inside.__He was awake, but not awake.__He didn't know where he was, who he was, or who all these people were.__Whatever the hell was happening, this was not good. _

"Listen Eliot, it's Nate. I really need you to try to focus on what I am saying. You were in a fire. Do you remember any of that? You were trapped and it took us a bit of time to get you out. You weren't burned too badly, but there was a lot of smoke – that's why you're having trouble breathing. Eliot, do you remember any of this? – Come on man, give me something"

_A fire.__There was a fire? He tried to bring up a memory, but couldn't find anything.__He did have a sense of heaviness, of not being able to move, but no tangible reason why. He wished his friends would step back into his line of vision.__Especially – what did she said her name was – Sophie.__That was someone worth making the effort to look at. OK – why didn't that thought feel right? _

"Eliot, it's Sophie. We're not going anywhere. From now on one of us will always be here with you and we are going to get you through this. I'm going to hold your hand Eliot, but I won't touch the IV. You let me know if I'm hurting you."

_He couldn't feel the warm touch on his hand.__She said she was holding it carefully, for fear of causing him pain.__Pain would be ok right now.__Feeling anything would be ok right now. _

Nate couldn't look at him. Couldn't look at the blank stare. The open eyes, not seeing. He looked dead and it scared Nate so deeply he could hardly breathe. "Eliot – it's Nate. The Doctor said it is going to take a bit of time for you to remember everything that happened, and we're going to try to fill you in. Maybe that will help speed the memories along. Is that ok with you Eliot?

_Why did they keep saying his name like he was some kind of child? It was embarrassing to have them talk to him this way.__He knew who he was – Eliot Tay- no Eliot Spencer.__He was Eliot Spencer!__OK – who the hell is Eliot Spencer?_


	3. Chapter 3

Sophie joined Nate at the cafeteria table, bringing him another cup of lukewarm, weak coffee. He needed something stronger – a lot stronger – right now, but since there was no bar in the hospital, he'd have to wait.

"Parker has been told not to poke at him, right? You know how she loves to test how bad he's feeling".

"Don't work Nate – Hardison will keep her in check. Besides, I think she is a bit afraid of being near Eliot right now. I'm not entire sure she gets what is going on."

"That makes two of us. How did this happen? Everything we've been through. Everything he's been through, and this is how it ends. This is how he's taken from us?"

"Nothing is ending Nate. He is still here, just not with us, and you know as well as I do that Eliot Spencer does not know how to quit."

"Problem is Eliot Spencer isn't in there anymore."

"You can't know that –"

"Look at him Sophie. There is nothing there. He's just – just. Hell, I don't know what he is, but he isn't Eliot."

"Well, then we find him. We bring him back."

"Bring who back?" Parker and Hardison joined them at the table.

"Who's with him? We're supposed to be there"

"Chill Sophie" Hardison put his hand on her shoulder to get her to sit again. "They're changing some dressings, then moving him from ICU to a private room so he can have a bit more peace and quiet."

Nate nodded approvingly. "Good – that'll make it easier to talk to him." He looked over at Sophie. "We've got nothing to lose by trying."

"Not good enough Nate. You have to believe he's there. This isn't a scam or a grift. We have to convince him to come back to us, and we have to believe first that he can."

"I just don't think I can."

"Nate – I know how hard this is for you. Eliot is not Sam." Nate's face reflected the gut wrench of Sophie's statement. "I'm sorry. It has to be said. Maybe this time you can help. You have to help save him."

He stood up and walked over to the window, willing himself to stop shaking. God he needed that drink. She was right though. If there was a chance, no matter how small, he had to do everything in his power to make it right.

He put his hands in his pockets and turned back to the Team. "OK – let's go steal back an Eliot."

_These people were relentless.__Every time he woke up at least one of them was there – talking.__Incessantly talking.__He had very quickly been able to differentiate between them.__Not too hard really.__Sophie – she was elegant.__A clipped accent that made her voice easy on the ears.__But she could slide in and out of accents at the drop of a hat.__Maybe she was some kind of actress or something.__Sure had the looks for it._

_The other woman – Beth. __Totally different story.__That girl was crazy. Following one of her stories was impossible.__They jumped around as much as she did.__And jumping was something she seemed fond of.__Kept talking about buildings she had leapt from. Yeah – that was normal. Still, kind of cute, in that little sister way. _

_But as crazy as she was, it was better than listening to – oh damn, what did he say his name was.__Harrison, Harvey,- no Hardison.__What kind of name was Hardison? Maybe his last name?__Anyway, the guy just did not shut up.__And if he heard age of the geek one more time he would scream. _

_Of course, he wouldn't.__He couldn't.__He kept trying not to think about that little problem.__Was getting damn tired of looking at the same spot on the ceiling though.__Grateful for the fleeting moments when one of the nurses or other staff stood right in front of him. Or the times these friends tried to make eye contact.__At least he had a point of reference then.__He had figured out that they didn't really think he was in there.__No, that wasn't fair.__Sophie thought he was, and the blonde seemed pretty confused about most things, so that didn't count.__It was hard to figure out what Hardison thought since he just kept rambling.__But Nate.__He did not believe.__Even with his own limited range of sensory perception, he could tell that Nate was going through the motions, and that even that was killing him.__And for some reason that really bothered him.__It felt wrong to put Nate through this, but didn't know why. And Eliot completely understood where Nate was coming from on this. After all, he wasn't entirely sure he was here either. Maybe this was all just a really bad dream.__But how the hell was he supposed to wake up._

"Hardison – shut up a minute and listen to me."

The young man practically jumped out of his chair. He'd been so focused on filling Eliot in on the latest tech news that he hadn't heard Nate enter.

"You can stop any background searches on the warehouse. Just had a news story on the car radio – cops caught some guy setting another fire on the docks. Seems he was trying to clean up the area and get rid of the "undesirables". Bastard thought the homeless were better off dead. He admitted – hell – he bragged about setting Eliot's fire too."

"So – nobody to take down for this. Damn, that don't seem fair. I was looking to get someone set up so that Eliot could whump on him for a little while when he's feeling up to it."

"Eliot only would have done that if it had been one of us lying in that bed. And it wouldn't have been a **little** while either."

Hardison nodded. "I hear that. Let me get my stuff outta your way-"

"No" Nate hadn't moved for a chair, but was watching Eliot from the doorway. "I'm not staying right now. Got a couple of things to take care of. You keep him company for a bit longer. And Hardison – stop saying Age of the Geek. You know he hates that."

"Yeah – I'm hoping to get him pissed off enough to wake up and hit me."

"Oh – uh – ok. Good luck with that?"

_Listening to the stories was beginning to scare him. This was what he did for a living?__He hit people? Regularly?__Holy crap, that was not good. And from the sound of things, not only did he hit people, but he was damn good at it.__Three, four, five at a time.__What was he - a ninja?__They made it sound heroic.__That didn't feel right either.__Beating on people is not heroic. What he couldn't understand is why these people, who seemed so carrying and compassionate, would want someone like that around.__Maybe he needed to focus a bit more on the stories.__Maybe when Sophie came back. _

"Sophie, do you think he'll remember the stuff we can't tell him about? You know, the things he asked us not to ask him about?"

"I don't know Parker, but I hope not. What he did for Moreau, the mercenary stuff – that is best gone."

_OK – that really doesn't sound good. He was a mercenary. Wasn't entirely sure what that meant, but there was a gut reaction to it that scared him.__Given the stuff they were willing to tell him, what had he kept secret?__He tried to focus._

"I have to admit Eliot, even though I hated the fighting, watching you in that boxing ring was impressive. I got what you were saying when you talked about the control, the internalization of it all. I think that was the first time I recognized that you had mastered the violence. You control it, not the other way around. I never would have told you this then, but after that I was a bit less frightened by you."

_Oh great – he scared his friends.__There's a ringing endorsement.__So far he knew he hit people – a lot, scared people and had a secret past that was too much to share.__He decided he knew one more thing.__He didn't much care for Eliot Spencer. _

"Well after three days of pulling back, it is a good sign that something finally registered, but not the outcome we are looking for. You definitely got through to him though" the Doctor was telling her. Sophie had trouble accepting this was her fault. Yes, she had gotten through to him, but his heart rate and blood pressure spiked, and breathing got worse. That was not the path to recovery she had been drawing for him. "What were you telling him" OK – couldn't really go into those details with the medical staff.

"I really don't remember – it was just sort of rambling". Telling the doctor that she was complimenting a comatose man on his boxing skills didn't seem like the best idea.

"OK – try to focus on what it was, and maybe come up with another way to approach the memory. We're going to try to get him calmed down some, so why don't you take a break."

Come to think of it, she wasn't really sure why she was telling Eliot that either. She thought back over the other stories, and slowed her pace as she realized in disgust what she had been doing. They had been telling Eliot horror stories about his life. A man who they knew quietly fought those demons was being regaled with his exploits in assault and battery. And they didn't even know the worst of it. But she was pretty sure she had triggered those memories, and it may well have pushed him back beyond their reach.

_He was a monster! The images started slowly, and then started flowing out of control.__Sniper scope shots, slashing machete blades, faces beaten to a pulp.__A gun fight in a warehouse that was too surreal to be true, but he knew it was. Some of the dead appeared to be soldiers, most did not.__Men, women, oh God, children.__Had he really done all of this?__This can't be his life.__But he knew it was. And he knew the world was better off without Eliot Spencer in it anymore. _

"I really didn't think that one through did I?" Sophie was sitting, staring ahead, stunned over what she had done. They looked down at Eliot on the bed, his condition downgraded again. The medications were no longer working on his blood pressure, and his heart was racing. Nothing anyone said or did was getting through to him. He was shutting down, giving up, and they couldn't figure out how to get back in.

"It wasn't you Sophie. We all did it." Nate knew his words wouldn't help her, but went ahead anyway. "I didn't even think he was still in there, so I wasn't being particularly guarded about my stories."

"I didn't help either", Hardison acknowledged. "I thought the Rambo stuff would get him riled up – you know, ready for action."

"But they are all cool stories" Parker insisted. "He saved us. Why isn't that good?"

"It is good Parker, but he can't process that right now. All he knows is the violence, and every time that we tell him another adventure, we're feeding his nightmares."

"Then we tell him the other stuff."

They all looked at each other for a minute. "The other stuff?"

Parker ignored them and moved close to Eliot.

"Eliot, do you remember Molly? You showed her how to win that little bear at the Carnival. You saved her. The bad guys took her and she was scared and alone, and you saved her. Nobody else could have done what you did. Molly wouldn't be alive without you Eliot. Remember, she gave you that panda bear after? I know you didn't know I knew that, but I do. I know where you hid it. Eliot, Molly would want you to come back."

Nate moved to the other side of the bed. "Maggie, Eliot. You saved Maggie and me when there was a bomb in the elevator. You figured it out. You did. You got us free."

"Eliot man, you tore down a wall with your bare hands to get strangers out of a burning building. It's why you're here. You did that."

Sophie was afraid any of her stories would trigger the wrong memory. She wracked her brain images for the Eliot she needed to bring back. "Hardison, give me your laptop. Wait, you can find it faster. I need the song. Tell me you still have his song."

"Eliot, do you remember this. This was Kaye Lynn's song. You were so nervous to go on stage. It was kind of fun to see you nervous about something. You're always in control, and you had stage fright. I don't know why you did. It was awesome. You nailed this, and do you know why? Because this is you. This is the real you underneath everything else." No one spoke as Eliot's guitar and voice came through the speakers.

_Why couldn't they just leave him be and let him go?__He'd seen the monster he was, surely they had too.__They kept talking, almost begging him to come back, and he just wanted it all to be over.__More stories? They were telling him more stories.__Hadn't he heard enough? Didn't he know enough yet? _

_Molly. He'd saved Molly?__There was a fight – there was always a fight.__But there was more. There was a little girl hugging him, holding on to him like he was the most important thing in the world. Smiling at him.__That can't be right.__ "__Wait" a thought pierced through "I own a teddy bear?" __Maggie.__He knew that name.__That's Nate's ex.__He had a flash of her flirting with him.__No – that __**really**__can't be right.__He saved her? Them? Something about an egg?_

_Oh come on – music.__What is that – charms to soothe the savage.__Well, at least that made sense.__Good song though. Country. Funny, he would have thought he was more a rock kind of guy.__Not a bad voice – wait.__Were they saying that was him?__No – no way.__But he knew the words, knew what was coming next._

"Play it again Hardison, keep playing it."

They watched as Eliot's heart rate slowed to a more normal rhythm. The nurse came in to check his vitals, and stayed to hear it through. She tilted her head to the bed. "Him? Really? Nice."

The third time through the song Sophie let out a muted cry as Eliot's eyes opened again. He looked toward her sound. For the first time in days, he looked at something. There was no other reaction, no words or movement, but everything had changed.

Two weeks later:

It was still painful to listen to Eliot try to speak. Gasp really. The rawness was getting better, but there was still a lot of healing ahead. But the remainder could be done at home, as long as he agreed to play by the rules. Not his strong suit, but with 4 mother hens watching over him, he didn't see that he would have too much opportunity for rebellion. And home was far and away better than hospital. Of course, it turned out not be his home. They'd have no control there. So here he was, stretched out on the couch in a back office (700 sports channels, so not all bad). Just getting settled had taken all the energy he had, and he was ready to relax and rest, as ordered. If he could just stop them from fussing. "Enough" he growled. "No talking" four voices responded in unison. He closed his eyes and tried to take a deep breath to calm down, but managed only about half what he had tried for. He opened his eyes to see them all anxiously watching him for signs of discomfort. He sighed and tried to give them a smile of reassurance. Pretty sure it looked more like a grimace from their reactions, but it was the best he could do.

They were still being cautious around him. Starting sentences, then backing off. Changing words in mid-stream. He knew they were worried about the memories. They must have apologized a million times for what they had been telling him. He wrote short notes to try to let them know he was ok with it, but it was not exactly the ideal communication system. Still, they eased off the aggressive approach and developed a more passive style of guarding him. It didn't matter. The memories were back, some a little fuzzy still, but coming in stronger every day. He couldn't stop them, and decided he shouldn't try. Remembering what he had been might well be the only way of keeping him from going back there, and he desperately wanted – needed – to not go back. He did try to mute those memories with thoughts of Maggie and Molly, and a few other faces that had come to light since he woke up. And when all else failed, he let the music fill his thoughts.

He could hear Nate speaking softly to Parker, and a moment later the door closed. After that he heard nothing for several hours, until he woke up again. It was dark outside, and the room was quiet, although everyone was there. He sat up and reached out for his water bottle, and felt something fall to the floor. Looking down, he saw a small panda teddy bear staring back up at him. If he hadn't known the affect it would have on his throat he would have growled. A moment later he was glad he hadn't. Parker walked over and placed his guitar on a stand beside the couch. "Whenever you're ready, we're always here to listen."


End file.
